My God is an Awesome God!

I have been a Christian for many years of my life.  I believe that I was called to love God from the womb and I know that I decided to love him as a very young child.  I publicly accepted Jesus Christ into my heart at a Baptist Church in 1975 located in Rowland Heights California.  Although I had already discovered who He was and had formally asked Jesus into my heart in 1969 or 1970, going forward to the alter of God made it so much more official for my testimony. 

I remember going to my friend, Denitha Davis' house and discovered that her mother, Jean Clark spoke about Jesus the same way I remembered my Granny speaking about Jesus.  They were neighbors of ours and my parents had met them through my visiting them often.  One day my parents were called out of town and I had to stay back for a test in school that Friday, so Jean Clark offered for me to stay with her. Her daughter went to Los Angeles for the weekend to visit family and so I was there all alone for a whole weekend.  There were so many Bibles in that house that I filled my days and nights reading the Word of God.  Jean took me to church with her and I loved the Sunday School class taught by Mr. Lockewood.  He was truly used of God to help me understand some of the Bible stories I had been reading with my Granny and personally when I was alone.  I was in the fifth grade and I remember well being so happy to find a group of people that talked about Jesus.  Mr. Lockewood told the class that he was going to swallow a goldfish the next week in Sunday school, if there we had more people in class the next week, so of course I wanted to be there to see him fulfill his mission.  I invited as many friends as I could find that week to go to church.

My friend Carla Barefield and Roberta Bukacek were given permission by their mother's to join me and Denitha as we rode the big ole blue church buss to church the next Sunday morning.  It was an amazing day - We went to Sunday School Class and learned about Jesus and His dying on the cross and at the end of that class, dear Mr. Lockewood swallowed that poor gold fish as he had promised.  We were escorted into the Main Church and sand the amazing sonfs that my Granny and I would always sing together during our visits.  As we sat listening to the message that pounded out of Paster Counts, I was mesmerized.  At the moment when He told us about receiveing Christ as our personal Saviour and pounded the pulpit with such passion yelling through that church in a pleading tone to accept Him publicly that it might save us from a burning, fiery hell - my heart felt an incredible sensation that was overwhelmingly moved.  I went forward to the alter and I told the woman at the front that I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart and make Him my Savior. She kindly said prayer that I repeated and then I went back to my seat knowing that I had made it final before God and Man that I belonged to Jesus Christ.  I felt happy and I have known from that moment on that I was Saved by the Grace of God and had accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour for all eternity.

My friends and I took the bus home and we laughed and sang songs that made my heart over-joyed with passion for knowing that I was a true child of God.  We took that old school bus for many months that year and I learned so much about the wonderful stories of Jesus and the books of the Bible.  I am so grateful that God in His perfect plan used so many people to lead me towards knowing Him.  My father was not happy with me talking about Jesus and the people that tried to visit him from the church were treated very rude and received a door slammed in their faces several times at my home.  It became such a problem for these people coming to our house that my father was at the point of stopping me from going to that church anymore, when one Sunday the bus was struck by another car on the way home from church.  My parents had to come and pick me up and they were angry that I was on that bus and in the accident.  I was no longer allowed to attend church anymore.  I felt a sense of loss without having anyone around me to talk about Jesus with and this is when I decided to read the little Bible that was given to me at that church everyday. 

A year later, I attended another Baptist Church that was closer to home and where my mother could drop us off for a few hours everyday to attend Vacation Bible School during the summer.   My sisters attended this church with me, yet they were in another classroom together and I was in my own class with kids my own age, we were in the sixth grade.  I received a nice Bible from this church for bringing in the most visitors and I read that Bible for many years.  It was difficult growing up and becoming a young woman through junior high and high school without much teaching except that I read a Bible I did not completely understand.  The confusion of not having any formal training led me through a life of knowing the world and all it's ways; however through it all I regularly enjoyed reading the Word of God in my room.  I talked to Jesus and I formed a personal time with Him on a regular basis even though I was introduced to life as one big party full of socializing and fun.

When I was fifteen years old my father was in an auto accident and he found himself seeking for God.  He went to the Catholic church and made us go too.  I was a bit rebellious about it, as I did not like the first communion classes and the way the Nuns treated us so harshly.  Well my parents became Catholics and we were at every Mass.  They renewed their vows through the catholic church and had a formal wedding and a great big party, that was fun; however it wasn't the full effect of what I had been learning all these years in the Word of God.  One day my father decided to quit smoking and then the next thing he did changed everything.  He started reading the Bible.  It didn't take long before he was born again and redeemed by the blood of Jesus, looking and seeking for real answers.  He quit the Catholic church and we went to several different Christian Churches, we even almost became Mormon.

Jean Clark, my friend's mother invited him to the Baptist Church I was attending when I was young.  Here it was six years later I was sitting in the very church that I had made my public profession of Christ in.  It was a little different and there was a different Pastor.  Tom Lucatorta was not the Pastor of Valley Baptist Church in Rowland Heights, California.  Through months of going to the services my father became on fire for the Lord and jumped right into Soul-winning, and other small misitry positions in a church that was not as big as it was six years earlier.  In 1980 when I was sixteen years old my entire family was baptized in that church as a family.  I had never been baptized after accepting Christ so we all did it together in August, 1980.  Back to the basics of learning about the Bible, but this time was different for me - I had already been reading the Bible for over eight years on a continual weekly and most times daily basis.  The teachings were incredible.  It was as if I had already learned all of these stories in my heart and they were just being confirmed.  I realized after a year of receiving scripture studies in this church that I had already placed the Word of God on the tables of my heart all these years and now I was being discipled through what the Spirit of God had already given me.  Thank God for the instructions and teachings I learned in this church.

I moved to another church when I was 18 years old, after a rebellious walk from the church my parents attended.  I found myself in a Church of the Nazerene when my good friend Theresa Tittle invited me to attend her mother's church.  I fell in love!  I loved the music, the people, the teachings, and most of all the Word of God that was once again so beautiful to me coming from the Pastor.  Pastor Cliff Schultz, an amazing minister of God's work. preached from the pulpit and brought tears to my eyes.  I was the prodical daughter returned into the arms of my loving Father and Saviour Jesus Christ.  I attended this church for many years in and out of my rebellious life.  It was the place my heart called my home church for years into my early forties.  I had attended Calvary Chapel in Diamond Bar from time to time, and would visit other churches here and there for a while, but this church was my heart.

One other church I went to for a couple years was Victor Valley Church in Victorville, CA.  Pastor Woods was an amazing Pastor of the Word of God and he will always be remembered through the years that I lived in the high desert and learned much from him of God's priniciples.  Pastor Counts, the first Pastor I ever called my Pastor became the associate Pastor of that church for the last few months I attended.  I loved him again as I remembered the early days of learning about Jesus and being a part of a church.  I moved and returned to the Nazerene Church of La Puente and felt the comfort of coming home to Pastor Cliff and the body of Christians in my home church.  Off and on through so many trials in my personal life, I attended this church.

I was married in my parents church, Puente Hills Baptist Church on March 31, 1984 to Eddie Holmes.  During my marriage to Eddie we rarely went to church, and the end of our marriage was the realization that we were not a good match.  He was a wonderful man, yet we had differing ideas for life.  I needed to be more grounded with God and he took up extra curricular activities that did not agree with God's plans for my life.  I was rebellious and a bit unruly after a few years of marriage to him and so by a dream that I had of Jesus telling me to do what I needed to do, I left and divorced Eddie in 1988.  We had no children and we ended the marriage amicably.  He had been unfaithful and although I have forgiven him, it was best for us to be free from being unequally yoked.  I moved onto a life of being single and consistantly studying the Word of God on my own until I was 28 years old and I married Victor Gwinn also known by his nickname, Ty.

Ty and I were married at The Grand in Glendora, CA on February 27, 1993.  Pastor Cliff Schultz officiated the ceremony and we moved to Hesperia, CA Where we attended Victor Valley Baptist Church.  Our oldest daughter, Victoria was born eleven months later on January 27, 1994 and we dedicated her to God on March 27, 1994.  Ty loved the Lord, but he loved to drink too.  This became a conflict in our lives and I again became rebellious and didn't want to attend church anymore.  I felt awful going to a church where we were almost pretending to be so committed and yet we were living too much in the world to keep living a life that wasn't always in Christ.  I battled with all of this and became very distraught.  I even felt guilty many times for not being the example I thought I was suppose to be.  I ran from God and when my second daughter, Jennifer was born on November 7, 1996, I took her to my parent's church, Puente Hills Baptist Church to have her dedicated to God in March, 1997.  We found out that Jenny had developed Craniosyntosis that month and I was devastated.

I pleaded with God when the doctors at Jennifer's three month check-up said she needed to be airlifted to Loma Linda Medical Hospital in Redlands CA to not let this happen.  Craniosystoses or craniosynestosis is a term for when a baby's head is not formed right in the womb.  The membranes adhere to quickly and her skull grew together too fast in a rigid fashion, so it was urgent to get the skull cracked open and reset it. which meant she would be have to have a shunt put into her head.  I was devastated and became very angry with God.  I yelled at Him and I told Him things I will never ever repeat as long as I live, but because of His awesome love He forgave me, and on October 10, 1997, Jennifer was healed.  She never needed the surgery or any other medical treatment for this condition again, and today - PRAISE GOD- she is a healthy beautiful 14 year old girl.  Thank you Jesus!

We welcomed a young girl named Monica into our life in January 1997 and she has been a part of our family to date.  Ty and I split up after so many trials and battles with rebellion and we suffered through a terrible divorce and custody battle that it took the chastening in love from God to get me through.  I thank God for His faithfulness through all my trials and I am grateful for the lessons I have learned through them all.  I made it through many battles after that and met my third husband, Eric Kabel, not long after my divorce with Ty was final.  Ty and I separated in June, 1999 and tried to work through our differences through October 1999 and it was enough.  There was no God in our lives, although I kept reading the Word through it all, if it was only the Proverb chapter of the day, I read it.  I learned that the book of Proverbs in the Bible has 31 verses and so I have been repeating Proverbs on each date of every month with the Proverb and on the months with 30 days I read both chapters 30 and 31.  I learned this back in 1980 and I still read the chapter of the day for wisdom.  There are times that I miss, but God keeps me pretty balanced to this reading daily.  My divorce to Ty became final January 20, 2004 after he had been living with another woman for three years and putting my daughters and me through this adulterous mess, I asked the judge to please grant the divorce.  Hallelujuah I was again free after so many years of bondage.

I married Eric on July 10, 2005 and this has been a difficult marriage, but God has shown me that He is the Master of my life and I have given this marriage to Him.  Eric has been the only man in my life that does not abuse drugs, alcohol, or me.  He has not committed adultery as many others, including boyfriends in my life have been unfaithful, and Eric loves God with all his heart.  God is in complete control here and I will wait on the Lord as He has waited for me all these years to build His will within our hearts.  I love Eric and God knows that I am thankful for all that he is and all that he has learned with me in waiting on the Lord.

My trials have been many and my rebellion has ignited all of them, but I thank God that I am forgiven and loved so much by Almighty God who provides us with chance after chance to make it right within our hearts and choose to align our ways with His Word.  I am finally getting it and all along I should have known that by humbling myself before the hand of the Lord and allowing Him to be my Master and Saviour, I may not have had to endure such trials.  I didn't do it right, but because I am held by Jesus Christ, I am able to come before an Awesome God who reigns in Heaven above, with Wisdom, Power and Love - My God is an AWESOME GOD!